How to Have a Conversation with a Parent About Moving Out of Their Home

Discussing the possibility of moving out of a forever home with a parent can be an emotionally charged and challenging conversation. It's never easy, and often, it's an event, a health emergency, or a cognitive impairment that creates an urgency to have ‘The Conversation’. When these situations arise, it's essential to approach the topic with sensitivity, empathy, and a clear plan. Here are some strategies to help navigate this delicate discussion.

 1.  Prepare Yourself 

Before initiating the conversation, take some time to prepare yourself. Understand the reasons why the move is necessary, whether it's due to health concerns, safety issues, or financial considerations. Gather information about potential living arrangements, such as assisted living communities, retirement communities, moving in with a loved one, or downsizing to a smaller home. Being well-prepared will help you present a clear and compassionate case.

 2.  Choose the Right Time and Place 

Having this type of conversation at the right timing and in the right setting is crucial. To increase the likelihood of having a productive conversation, choose a calm, private, and comfortable environment where you can talk without interruptions. Avoid bringing up the subject during stressful times or family gatherings. A quiet moment, when both you and your parent(s) or loved one, are relaxed will make the conversation more productive.

 3.  Express Empathy and Understanding 

Start the conversation by acknowledging their feelings. Understand that leaving a home filled with memories can be heartbreaking and often feels like loss of independence or the end of a chapter that they may not be ready to have closed. Express empathy and let them know that you recognize how difficult this decision is. Use phrases like, “I understand how much this home means to you,” or “I know this is a big change, and it’s not easy.”

 4.  Explain Your Concerns 

Gently explain the reasons behind the need for the move. Focus on specific concerns such as their safety, health, and well-being. For example, you might say, “I’m worried about you living alone in such a large house with stairs,” or “I want to ensure you have access to the medical care you need.” Use facts and examples to illustrate your points without sounding accusatory or overly critical.

 5.  Highlight the Benefits 

Discuss the positive aspects of moving. Emphasize the benefits of the new living situation, such as: Increased safety, access to healthcare, access to more social opportunities, and reduced maintenance responsibilities. You could say, “In the new place, you’ll have help with daily tasks and more opportunities to socialize with others.”

 6.  Involve Them in the Decision-Making 

Give your parent or loved one a sense of control by involving them in the decision-making process. Ask for their input and preferences regarding their potential new home. You could ask, “What are some things you’d like in a new place?” or “Would you like to visit some options together?” This involvement can help them feel more comfortable and have less resistance to the change.

 7.  Be Patient and Give Them Time 

This conversation may not be resolved in a single discussion. Be patient and give your parent or loved one time to process the idea. They may need time to come to terms with the change. Schedule follow-up conversations to address their concerns and answer any questions they may have.

 8.  Seek Professional Help if Needed 

If the conversation becomes too difficult or emotional, consider seeking the help of a professional, such as a family counselor, social worker, or geriatric care manager. These professionals can provide guidance and facilitate discussions in a neutral and supportive manner.

 9.  Offer Support Throughout the Transition 

Once the decision is made, offer your full support during the transition. Help with the logistics of the move, such as packing, selling the house, and setting up the new home. Your presence and assistance can make the process less overwhelming and more manageable. Or, partner with a professional to take care of all of those things, while you spend time helping your loved one transition to their new surroundings.

 10.  Reassure Them of Your Continued Care 

Finally, reassure them that the move does not change your commitment to their well-being. Let them know you will continue to be there for them and support them in their new living arrangement. This reassurance can help ease their fears and make the transition smoother.

Having a conversation with a parent about moving out of their forever home is undoubtedly challenging. By approaching the topic with empathy, understanding, and a well-thought-out plan, you can help your loved one navigate this significant life change with dignity and care. Remember, the goal is to ensure their safety, health, and happiness in a new, supportive environment.

Many resources are available to help make the transition easier and less stressful. If you need help selling your home, we’ve got that. Family Shepherd is here to help with the house, and all of the stuff, as well as connect you with any other resources that you may need. Maybe it’s downsizing, moving, financial planning, or introductions to trusted resources that can help you select the right care community for your loved one. We are happy to help and share any of our resources to help make your journey easier.